Becoming an Adult

I was reminded by my friend Emily today that it wasn’t so long ago that I was absolutely DYING to become an adult. The anticipation was unbearable this summer and it made me think back to an earlier time in my life. My whole childhood consisted of playing teacher and studying my own teachers so that I would one day be a ‘real’ teacher. Now that I am, sometimes I wish that I had just taken more time to enjoy being a child.

I don’t envy them. Children I mean. It’s so hard growing up and figuring things out. Understanding the hard parts of life. Understanding what it means to lose friends, family, and loved ones. It's such a hard process to really come into the reality of a young adult. I don't envy my young students either. They're figuring out things too. It's a time in my life that was really hard. I don't think anyone goes through childhood or young adulthood without some issues or troubles.

I am the youngest person in my department and we had the conversation the other day about ‘if we could go back’. Most of the time, it always end with, “Maybe…but only with what I know now”. That’s the thing; we take for granted that throughout all the ‘growing up’ we’re learning along the way.

As my sister is beginning the process of submitting applications to college and thinking about her future, it has made me think back to when I was a senior. It wasn’t that long ago, but sometimes, it seems like decades. Would I go back? Maybe, but again, I’ve learned so much, done so much, met so many people; it is crazy to think that I really and truly am a different person from 5 years ago.

There are many times when I would like nothing more than to go lie in my mom’s lap, or spend the night with Granny, knowing I would fall asleep to her singing my favorite songs and wake up to a gravy biscuit from Hardees. I would love to go back to being that elementary student, playing recess, learning about the simple things that would turn into the building blocks of my education. However, I know I’m also going to be saying in 20 years that I would like to go back to ‘that first year of teacher, that first year of being on my own’; I know it’s all perpetual. I know that I am doing what I’m doing for a reason and I think the biggest reason is that I’m learning. Learning through the good, the bad, the wonderful, and even learning through the sad.

After all, isn’t a part of growing up?