Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Stop This Train

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train
~John Mayer


I remember the first time I heard this song.  I think I was a junior in college (I might have been a sophomore…I’ve slept since then), I stopped, played the song again, and thought, yes…that’s it!  That’s how I’ve felt for the past almost 10 years.  Granted, at some points of the past decade I’ve sighed a breathe of relief when the train has just traveled on and moved, but there have been so many times where I have just wanted to stop the train.

Wouldn’t life be so sweet if we had a pause button?  If when I wanted to, I could just snap my fingers and relish in the moment of life that was before me?  There were many times I was in college and I just wanted to say, “Wait!!  Hold on, I just want to stay here!” I guess that’s the thing about life…we can’t.  We’re just along for the ride and we have to take the snapshots while the moment presents itself.

This past school year has been one that is very bittersweet.  2 of my closest school friends have decided that this is their last semester at RCHS.  It would be a huge understatement to say that I will be lost without them.  Heather and Carolyn have been my lifesavers and my confidants for 3 years.  I remember so clearly the 2nd day of my first year and making it into school, but breaking down in tears right before first period.  Carolyn rushed to my side and gave me a study guide to give the students and then Heather sat down with me during planning and mapped out what would ultimately become my English II curriculum.  They are 2 of the best teachers I have ever been in contact with.  Their love for literature and students is evident in every class they teach.  Carolyn is like a second mom to me, helping me, taking me in under her wing, and slowly making me a stronger and more independent teacher.  Heather has become my big sister.  She has guided me and stood by my side when I have been lost. 

So I hope that you can see why I want to stop this train.  I want to embrace this time and hold onto it a little bit longer.  The opportunities they have before them are tremendous and I am so amazingly happy for both of them!  It is a very, very bittersweet time.  Happiness is overflowing, but my heart is sad too.  They have been my “rocks” at Rockingham and I’m still trying to figure out what my ‘school life’ will be like without them.

Life doesn’t give us a pause button.  Unfortunately we can’t ‘stop the train’.  Life goes on and provides us with the experience we need to take the next step.  Every step in my journey leads me to my next one.  I know that Carolyn and Heather have helped to pave the road in my teaching life and have also helped me in my personal life as well. 

The train keeps on moving, but the good thing is, we can take the people, memories, pictures, stories, and experiences with us.  The station might not stop very often, but we have to enjoy the ride.  Just enjoy the ride.  Learn from the scenery.  Take pictures in our hearts of the ones that have made it better.

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