Juggling

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”  ~James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

This quote is from one of my favorite novels, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.  I'll never forget reading it.  One of my best friends, Case, told me about it when we were seniors in high school.  It's a touching story and I won't go into detail, but I definitely recommend if you've never read it.  I read it in one day...make sure you have hankies.

At the time I initially read the book, this quote didn't really mean a lot to me.  I mean, I didn't understand the full implications of it.  At 17 a person doesn't really have a full idea of what 'work' is, nor do they understand the precious importance their family and friends have in their life, at least I didn't really.  I certainly didn't understand what it meant to 'juggle' everything around.  Oh, I thought I did.  I thought that it was all I could do to make it through all my responsibilities as a high school student...how young I was.  

But like life usually does, it took hold of my hand and away we went!  Life has that tendency to not care whether you are comfortable.  It doesn't ask you if you're all buckled in and have everything in order, it just takes off, and all a person can do is pray that they're ready to go.

I have felt this way all year (school year, that is).  In the past year I have taken on a lot of responsibility within my job.  Don't get me wrong, I've loved new roles, new tasks,  and learning new things.  However, I've often stopped and the lyrics from "Once in a Lifetime" by the Talking Heads has seeped into my brain..."You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

How did I get here?  How did I get to the place where I grade at school 'til 6:00?  How did I get to the place where I forget to call my mom?? And that's when it hit me, I have been treating work like a glass ball.  I have for the past semester been thinking that there is nothing in the world except my job and I have to do a great job at it or it will go away! ...but it won't...but it doesn't...and that's when I remembered this quote.

My friends and family have always taken the front seat in my life's journey.  I've always tried to make time for them and let them know how important they are to me.  The past year I've gotten lost in the grind of work.  I've lost myself in worries over whether I'm doing this right, or planning that lesson, or grading this, e-mailing that.  Somehow, my friends and family slipped to the backseat.

All of this hit me when I realized tonight that I hadn't talked to my mom in a week.  My granny (whom I adore) called me a couple weeks ago and I have yet to call her back.  How did this happen?  Again, how did I get here?  I have to stop and take a step back.  Work is a rubber ball.  It will always be there, it will always bounce back.  I'm the person that has to be the best at what I do.  I want to give 100% and know that what I'm doing is right.  When you're in that mind set, it's hard to stop and realize what materials make those precious spheres.  

Next week is Spring Break and I hope recalculate and re-evaluate where the path has gotten a little off.  I love my students and my job, but I also need to realize that there are things in life that need to take the front seat.  I need to stop and understand that the job is a job.  It's not going anywhere, but my time with my family, my friends, my health, this is precious stuff!


One of my dearest friends at school has a daughter who was in an accident this past summer.  It was very touch and go for awhile.  She is truly a walking miracle.  She's back at school and living her normal life now.  There have been times my friend has looked at me and said, "Don't let it take something huge to make you re-evaluate life."  She doesn't stay at school as long.  She has fully realized the priorities in life.  Though she handled the situation with an abundant amount of grace, she also did what some people forget to do...she learned and took from the lessons that life handed her.


I don't want something drastic to happen for me to stop and do the cliched smelling of the roses.  I want to live in the moment.  Learn to juggle and do the best at my job, but also make more of an effort to call my family, check in with my friends, and enjoy life.  Those are the objects I don't want to break, scuff, or hurt.  My job, though so very important, will always find away into my life...the rubber is resilient, the glass is not.