10 and 11 - Kelly and Linds

Ending the week of best friends, I am thankful for my sweet friends, Kelly and Lindsey.

Kelly - I have always said that everyone needs a Kelly in their life.  They really do.  She is a bright burst of energy and love anytime you need it.  She fills the room with light and laughter.  You just can't be sad when she's around!  Kelly and I met in high school, though I've always told her that I wanted to be friends with her so bad in middle school!  I'm glad we finally did meet up because life is better when she's around.  My favorite memories with Kelly always involve the beach.  We went to the beach one time in college and (even though we were at least 20) had a full fledged sand fight.  We emerged from the ocean and beach full of sand and laughs.  She'll always cheer you up with a funny story or hold your hand when you're crying and upset.  I had the privilege of being her maid of honor and I loved the experience of being there for her on the 'big day'.  Her husband Matt is our original "Garland Guy" and he is always so amazingly kind to all of us.  I love them both dearly.  Thankful I am for a friend like Kelly Gay.  (The pic below pretty much sums our friendship)

Linds - Lindsey Leigh.  My sweet, sweet friend.  I told someone the other night that you can't be in Lindsey's presence without feeling loved and blessed.  She's one of the kindest, most genuine people I've ever met.  She is lovely, honest, and true.  Linds always calls to check in and make sure you're doing okay.  She'll listen and advise and offer her truest wisdom.  She also has a hilarious side too.  We always laugh and joke and have fun when we're together.  Linds and I were able to become closer though going to the same college.  Many road trips, late nights, flat tires, and college assignments later, we made it to the other side, still together.  Lindsey is also (in my opinion) brilliant!  Very smart and motivated.  She has completed (almost) 2 marathons, grad school, a wedding, and lots of other impressive things :)  I'm happy she's in my life because she always makes me happy.  Love you Lindsey Leigh!

So happy you girls are in my life!  You two are kind, inspirational, and so supportive!!  Love y'all!

Blessings 8 and 9

Continuing the best friend week (and since I forgot to blog yesterday), today's post is about 2 very special people.  Caro and Case, today I salute you!

Caro - I have been fortunate to know Caro technically since I was four, but fate was kind and put us in beautiful red marching band outfits when we were sophomores and the rest is history.  10 years ago, Caro and I became best friends, and I really can't imagine my life without her.  She's my therapist, my rock, and the person that tells me the 'how it is'.  She's brave.  She takes risks.  She will truly change the world, I have no doubts about that.  She has this infectious laughter that always makes me smile. I admire her because she's not afraid to say what she thinks and she loves unconditionally. We have survived babysitting, 8 hour drive to Bham, high school, college, living several states apart, and becoming adults.  Everyone needs a Caro in their life.  I'm certainly glad she's in mine!

Case - When people find out that Case and I have only known each other since our senior year of high school, they're usually surprised.  We have a deep bond that makes it feel like we've known each other for much longer.  In the years we've been best friends, we've experienced a lot!  We've traveled together (Cali, Nashville, Charleston, the beach x 20), I had the privilege of being her maid of honor, and we've helped each other with tons of 'life problems'.  I admire Case because she's not afraid of risks, she is currently going back to school to pursue a nursing degree and I'm so proud of her!!  She's incredibly kind.  She loves her friends and family (and puppies!) with all her heart.  She'll sing and dance and make you smile (we're pretty sure we're going to be famous one day).  I'm so thankful that we did find each other and that she's in my life!

I'm so thankful for you girls.  You both are so incredibly special to me.  Thank you for putting up with me.  Love you both!

Twice Blessed (Thankful #7)

I've decided to dedicate this week's 'thankful' days to 6 of my best friends.  It's only appropriate to dedicate today to the birthday girls!  

Day 7 - Em and Carrie

Em - My English soul mate.  Former roomie.  Confidant.  Keeper of secrets.  Incredible writer.  Em is one of the best people you'll ever meet.  She has this warmth and love that encompasses everyone that she loves.  She is one of those people I call when I'm down and she'll talk me into seeing how wonderful life is.  She is crazy talented and I wish I could be a student in her English class!  Whether it be a birthday card or a longer composition, the way she writes always leaves me breathless and awestruck.  The thing I love about Em is that she can be so funny, but then have a deep conversation with you.  She always wraps me in hugs and lets me know that she loves me.  I am beyond thankful for her!

Carrie - Music soul mate.  Former roomie.  Lover of laughs.  Holder of strength.  Carrie has this incredible smile and laugh.  You can't help but be happy when you're with her.  I always look to her for a beacon of strength and hope, she never lets me down.  We share the same love for great music.  Every time we're together we'll always ask the other, have you heard this?  Do you have that?  She loves with all her heart and takes on the world with incredible grace.  I admire her faith in God and her love for her family and friends.  She'll pull out a picture of her niece, Ellie, in a heartbeat (Em will too).  My favorite memories (there are a ton) always involve dancing, car trips, singing, and trying (key word) to cook.  I am beyond thankful for her as well!

I hope you both had a fabulous birthday!  You have both blessed my life more than you'll ever know!!

Thankful 4, 5, and 6!

Books -
This is coming off of yesterday when I said that I was in a reading funk!  None the less, every single day I get to teach and incorporate books into my classroom, I am thankful for the gift of reading.  People take for granted that they are able to read the words that are on this page.  I have always said one of the best things my mom ever did for me was reading to me every day when I was little.  Such a seemingly small gesture has made me the person I am.  When I read a book, I am in another place.  I can identify, I can point and think, yes, this is how I feel!  I can transform, absorb, love.  Even in a 'reading funk', I still always have a book by my bed, and I'm fortunate that my job allows me to be a constant reader.  One of my favorite things in my classroom is to read to my students and ask them their thoughts.  I look forward to the day that I can decorate my forever house and have my very own big library filled to the brim with books!!  The first thing I will do as a mom is read to my child and I hope I instill the love of reading to my future offspring!  So, I'm thankful for books, for reading, and most importantly, I'm thankful my mom filled my childhood room with books and gave me my love for reading.

Sweet Students -
I have had lots of ups and downs in the classroom.  I've said before that this has been one of the toughest years that I've had in teaching.  Lots of frustration and confusion.  However, every single time I have been curious as to why I stick around, I think about the sweet students that have affected me.  One particular day this semester, somewhat at my wits ends, I made a list.  I listed all the students that had made an impact on me.  Then I thought of my most frustrating students.  The latter list didn't hold a candle to the first one.  I have far more students that have been a blessing than a curse!  These students check in, protect, smile, write sweet notes, and genuinely make me feel I've made a difference. I remind myself (I've done it a lot this year) of these students and why I chose to do what I do.  Teachers certainly aren't shown appreciation in pay...but, I suspect that we do it for our kids.  I know I was affected by teachers, so to pay them back, I will try to teach my best for the students that learn from me.  I'm thankful for each student that I've taught that has made me feel appreciated and loved.

Teachers -
As mentioned before, I have been affected by the teachers that I've had.  I wrote a post about how much I will always adore my educators.  I still call Mrs. McKinney for advice and help.  Every time I plan a lesson or grade a paper I have a stronger appreciation for all of the teachers I had growing up.  I am even more thankful for the current 'teachers' I have.  Carolyn and Heather are two of my current 'teachers' I teach with that continue to educate me on how to be a great teacher.  If you're reading this, go thank a teacher, trust me, they'll appreciate it more than you know!

Thankful

I have neglected my blog...again.  I don't know why it is so hard for me to find consistency within the world of blogging.  This has been, without a doubt, the busiest school year I have ever had.  So, I could blame my lack of blogs on that...we'll go with that!  I feel like I've been in a tailspin.  I've been confused and lost and not sure of where to go or what to do.  The quarter-life crisis hasn't quite made it out of my system.

I was on the phone with my friend, Linds, the other night and as I was talking to her, I realized something.  As crazy as my school/professional life has been, my friends and family have been such a constant in my life.  They have been my rocks.  The ones I turn to, cry to, ramble on to...they've been there.  All this made me realize that I do, indeed, have a lot to be thankful for.  Since this is the month of thankfulness...I thought I could blog about it.  It'll also give me more of a focus for writing, something I for sure need.  I've stolen this idea from a few friends on facebook, but I think it's great.  Express why you're so thankful, cause as crazy as it gets, life has much in it to be thankful for.  My blessings are abound.  They are plentiful and many.

I figure some posts will have a few, some will be focused, some will be short, and some long.  But, I hope that through this I will be reminded of the blessed life I live.  I get so down and frustrated with things that it's hard to see through it to the light. The light is what keeps me going.  Even the darkest times, the times when I don't think there is any light to be seen, there are people and things that offer that.  I hope to convey that through this next series of posts.

So, shall we begin?

I'm a little behind, so we'll start BROAD with 3 things I am currently thankful for...

1. Music - I should make this it's own post.  I am currently in a book funk...shocking, I'm an English major and teacher!  I've just been in a lull...but, I have been a music JUNKIE!  There have been so many good albums and songs that have just been released.  Music is very healing and therapeutic for me.  It brings me up when I'm down.  It brings me inspiration.  It beings me life.  I'm currently in LOVE with music source called Spotify.  You can download it and then listen to THOUSANDS of songs for free (and whole albums!).  So when you're on a teacher's budget like me, but love good music, it's AWESOME!  My new favorite albums currently in rotation are: Kelly Clarkson's new cd (Stronger), Lady Antebellum's latest album (Own the Night), Miranda Lambert's new cd (Four the Record) - also dig the play on words - and Coldplay's new cd (Mylo Xyloto).  I recommend all.  And I definitely recommend Spotify.  Amazing.

2. Fall Weather - You can ask any of my friends, I am NOT a cold weather fan, but I do love fall.  I love getting out blankets, driving and seeing the beautiful trees, and the smell in the air.  I treasure this time in season, so peaceful and nice.

3. Daily Devotionals - Sometime last year my friend, Caroline, introduced me to a daily devotional called "Stillspeaking Devotional".  It comes to my e-mail every morning and I try to read it before I start teaching.  Some days it is like God inspired the writer to write something that speaks just for me.  They are wonderful ways to start the day and take a minute to just sit back and reflect with God.  I definitely recommend it.

Those are three things I am currently thankful for.  I didn't want to get too 'deep' on the first post.  More to come.

CB

Stop This Train

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

~John Mayer

I remember the first time I heard this song.  I think I was a junior in college (I might have been a sophomore…I’ve slept since then), I stopped, played the song again, and thought, yes…that’s it!  That’s how I’ve felt for the past almost 10 years.  Granted, at some points of the past decade I’ve sighed a breathe of relief when the train has just traveled on and moved, but there have been so many times where I have just wanted to stop the train.

Wouldn’t life be so sweet if we had a pause button?  If when I wanted to, I could just snap my fingers and relish in the moment of life that was before me?  There were many times I was in college and I just wanted to say, “Wait!!  Hold on, I just want to stay here!” I guess that’s the thing about life…we can’t.  We’re just along for the ride and we have to take the snapshots while the moment presents itself.

This past school year has been one that is very bittersweet.  2 of my closest school friends have decided that this is their last semester at RCHS.  It would be a huge understatement to say that I will be lost without them.  Heather and Carolyn have been my lifesavers and my confidants for 3 years.  I remember so clearly the 2^nd day of my first year and making it into school, but breaking down in tears right before first period.  Carolyn rushed to my side and gave me a study guide to give the students and then Heather sat down with me during planning and mapped out what would ultimately become my English II curriculum.  They are 2 of the best teachers I have ever been in contact with.  Their love for literature and students is evident in every class they teach.  Carolyn is like a second mom to me, helping me, taking me in under her wing, and slowly making me a stronger and more independent teacher.  Heather has become my big sister.  She has guided me and stood by my side when I have been lost. 

So I hope that you can see why I want to stop this train.  I want to embrace this time and hold onto it a little bit longer.  The opportunities they have before them are tremendous and I am so amazingly happy for both of them!  It is a very, very bittersweet time.  Happiness is overflowing, but my heart is sad too.  They have been my “rocks” at Rockingham and I’m still trying to figure out what my ‘school life’ will be like without them.

Life doesn’t give us a pause button.  Unfortunately we can’t ‘stop the train’.  Life goes on and provides us with the experience we need to take the next step.  Every step in my journey leads me to my next one.  I know that Carolyn and Heather have helped to pave the road in my teaching life and have also helped me in my personal life as well. 

The train keeps on moving, but the good thing is, we can take the people, memories, pictures, stories, and experiences with us.  The station might not stop very often, but we have to enjoy the ride.  Just enjoy the ride.  Learn from the scenery.  Take pictures in our hearts of the ones that have made it better.

Changes in Life

“What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends”

~”With a Little Help from my Friends” – The Beatles

For the 6^th time in 7 years, I’m moving. I think that at this point I qualify for gypsy status. This is what is supposed to happen in your late teens/twenties, right?! I’m packing up and moving out of my little apartment in Greensboro that I share with my dear friend Courtney. I’m heading out to the country and moving in with my other dear friend, Courtney. Change, change, it’s an inevitable cycle.

The ONLY thing I like about the process of moving is that it gives me the opportunity to go through things that I thought I had misplaced somewhere in that last move. It also reminds me of my hoarder like status on keeping some things. Every time I move I go through a ‘cleansing’ process and try to get rid of things I don’t need. Upon going through things, I found a stash of cards and memories that brought tears to my already emotional eyes.

I found cards from different people, at different times, for different occasions, all different, all special. It reminded me of all the people that are constant in my life. It reminded me that when I get in the boxing ring of life and the obstacle is thrown in there with me, I always have someone in my corner backing me up, cheering me on, and telling me that they’re with me.

When I was dealing with leaving for college, there were cards saying that I could make it. When I was reeling from the death of a close family member, there were cards with encouraging and sympathetic words. There were cards with birthday wishes, graduation wishes, and just all around well wishes! If someone were to see the stash, they would surely think that I might be crazy for keeping so many cards, but they represent devoted friendships that have lasted for years.

Change is something that I don’t deal well with. Though I’m excited for the move and what it brings, there is a little bit of sadness with leaving Greensboro. With any change, it’s always bittersweet. I know though that there are people there with supportive love…and that’s what makes all the difference.