Thoughts During AP Training

Going through this AP training has humbled me and helped me to see the English classroom from a student's perspective.  Sometimes...English is hard.

Reading passages that have literary elements, rhetoric style, and tons of difficult vocabulary is so amazingly intense.  I have quickly shifted to that struggling student who is confused.  I'm feeling very inadequate, but everyday I leave class with my brain pulsing with new ideas and excitement.

As thrilled as I am to begin this new AP journey, it is a scary hill to climb with questions that include: "Can I do this?" "Am I smart enough to do this?" "What have I gotten myself into?"

BUT - then there are moments.  The moments that I read and get excited about this material and all that I am learning.  I can envision my kids discussing and reading in the class.  Will they love it?  I'm not sure, but I really hope so!

I always thought I over analyzed everything, but when you get into a classroom full of accomplished, tenured, and impressive English teachers - it can be a bit overwhelming.  Ideas are picked out that I didn't think about, characters are picked through in ways I didn't see, literary elements are shown and pointed out with words that I didn't know existed.  You are certainly in good company with a room full of English teachers!

As I was dining with Em and Mira tonight I realized that the reason we're so exhausted at the end of the day is because we're not just teachers in there.  We're thinking as our students, too.  We're trying to think about whether it will work when given in our classrooms.  Will we be able to produce a top notch class?  Millions of questions racing through my mind.

I'm enjoying it.  It's hard, but I'm enjoying it.  I'm loving it because it's fueling my passion.  I'm getting the chance to embrace my love of literature and teaching.  I can't wait to experience my first AP class.  I know it'll be hard, but I think that's part of the fun!