I have never been early, not even for my birth
Mom labored and labored to no avail
Finally, after the decision to open up the womb was made
The doctor pulled me out of the warm comfort
And I've been a little lost and cold ever since
I look back in wonder...
How did I get to a place where I say, "I'm in my 30's"
That one lyric from "Strawberry Wine" - "I still remember...when 30 was old..."
Her biggest fear was September, mine is just the cold
Everyone says youth is wasted on the young.
As I continue to creep into my middle years...
I see myself saying, "Back when I was young" and "Kids these days"
I relate to the statement more and more...
I have wasted so much time in worry doubt, self-abuse, and frustration.
I have not loved and held on to the moments when I should have.
Written down the precious seconds and minutes that took my breath away
Never have regrets "they" say (who are they anyway)
I imagine "they" are the ones who have an idea of what life is on the other side...
The guilt consumes as the anxiety is in a constant ebb and flow-
Depression, their dear friend, older brother, and comrade in battle hold their hands
All housed in a comfy little corner in my head.
Sly whispers are constantly churning from their mouth as they group up in arms
"You aren't good enough"
"They don't need you"
"Why are you even trying?"
"You'll never find the light"
The sunshine of friends and family should be bright enough to eclipse the dark
The warmth of those beams should lift the shade
But, at times, the black night prevails
The shadow lingers
The doubt holds my hand
Where do I go from here?
What do I do as I wade through the choppy waters of life?
Hang onto the lifesavers...
Latch onto the lighthouses...
Cling to the precious buoys that keep me afloat.
CB 5/21/19
Mom labored and labored to no avail
Finally, after the decision to open up the womb was made
The doctor pulled me out of the warm comfort
And I've been a little lost and cold ever since
I look back in wonder...
How did I get to a place where I say, "I'm in my 30's"
That one lyric from "Strawberry Wine" - "I still remember...when 30 was old..."
Her biggest fear was September, mine is just the cold
Everyone says youth is wasted on the young.
As I continue to creep into my middle years...
I see myself saying, "Back when I was young" and "Kids these days"
I relate to the statement more and more...
I have wasted so much time in worry doubt, self-abuse, and frustration.
I have not loved and held on to the moments when I should have.
Written down the precious seconds and minutes that took my breath away
Never have regrets "they" say (who are they anyway)
I imagine "they" are the ones who have an idea of what life is on the other side...
The guilt consumes as the anxiety is in a constant ebb and flow-
Depression, their dear friend, older brother, and comrade in battle hold their hands
All housed in a comfy little corner in my head.
Sly whispers are constantly churning from their mouth as they group up in arms
"You aren't good enough"
"They don't need you"
"Why are you even trying?"
"You'll never find the light"
The sunshine of friends and family should be bright enough to eclipse the dark
The warmth of those beams should lift the shade
But, at times, the black night prevails
The shadow lingers
The doubt holds my hand
Where do I go from here?
What do I do as I wade through the choppy waters of life?
Hang onto the lifesavers...
Latch onto the lighthouses...
Cling to the precious buoys that keep me afloat.
CB 5/21/19
