Sunday, May 15, 2011

Quarter Down

I’m turning 25 in a couple of days. I never dread birthdays, in fact, usually I embrace them. My best friends will be the first people to say how much I adore my birthday. Why wouldn’t a person? It’s a day to celebrate you! However, this birthday, for some reason, meant something bigger. 25 sounds like such a grown up age. I sat down for lunch today with my mentor and friend, Angela, and I was telling her about my fears about turning the big 2-5. She agreed that it was a big number. No more juvenile moves. It’s a legit number. I was beginning to feel a little anxious about it.

I think some of my friends just took it as nerves mixed with me being my usual melodramatic self (if I could only get on Broadway and work this out), but I really was starting to feel a little nervous about it all. I then did what all people in this day and age do when they’re curious about something…I wikipedia’ed it! In my results I found out that I did have the classic symptoms of a ‘quarter life crisis’. If you’re curious about the symptoms, you can search them, but they fit, not all…but a lot.

When I discussed this with my friend Caroline, she explained to me that to even have a quarter life crisis meant that I was somewhat established in my life. I have a status to question and reason to ponder. Not all “almost” 25 year olds have this. I am fortunate to have held a job for 3 years. That’s quite a miracle. It was during all this I had several moments of clarity. Turning 25 is such a beautiful thing, not something to be freaked out about.

Looking back a decade, I’ve graduated high school, college, celebrated being a teacher for 3 years. I’ve lived by myself, moved back to a city, I’ve made life-long friends. In the past several years I’ve made major milestones. Milestones I can be proud of. I think, though, that I always imagined something more. A little part of me imagined that I would have been in a relationship by now, I would be completely happy at where I am, but these things haven’t happened quite yet. However, these are all exciting things to look forward to. I’m still growing even though I’m officially a ‘grown up’. 10 years ago I knew I’d be a teacher, I’d be somewhere in life, and in those respects…I have been successful.

I guess that the big 2-5 isn’t anything too crazy. It’s a nice number. Quarter down, a couple more (I hope) to go. I look forward to the next 25. I hope to live even more and make more memories.

I leave you with a picture from long ago. I think this was my 2nd birthday. What would I tell this little girl? Never grow up? Nah, but I would tell her to enjoy every moment of growing. Take the time to grow and learn from everyone and everything around you. Take more pictures, opportunities to travel, and fall asleep in Nana’s lap a few more times. I would tell her to dream big and be happy. Just be happy.





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